Cheating spouse how to deal with it

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Sunday Godwin not real name whose wife regularly cheats on him. She was still in the university when we got married.

Here are some steps to help you cope and find a path forward.

He said she comes home late from work and gets upset whenever he confronts her about her lateness. I have sources who constantly feed me with information about her whereabouts. One day, she will get tired of her shameful act. Olanrewaju, residing in Fagba area in Abule Egba, Lagos, is unaware that his wife cheats on him. Neighbours, who discuss the couple, said on several occasions they had seen his wife alight from a sport utility vehicle.

Don’t try to get even

But he thinks she has changed; I wonder how he copes with such a woman as a wife. A professor of psychology at the University of Lagos, Oni Fagboungbe, said the reason spouses cheat is because they have an unmet need.

How to deal with a partner who can't stop cheating - Times of India

Whether it is a man or woman that cheats, that person cheats to satisfy a need — sexual or material. When a spouse is aware of that fact that the other spouse cheats, the first thing he or she should do is to find out why the spouse cheats. The cheating spouse has sexual desires that are not being fulfilled. For example, a wife whose sexual desires are not being met by her husband would not want to open up to her husband, because he may think she is being wayward.

How to handle a cheating spouse

Instead, she looks for a man who would meet her sexual needs. Cheating spouses are forced to look for alternatives because the need has become part of them. The don noted that in other countries, when a man or woman finds out that his or her spouse cheats, both of them would go the extra mile to meet their sexual needs, even if it means watching films to boost their sexual drive or going for counselling.

Also, Dr. Chika Ndubuisi, a psychologist at the University of Nigeria, Nsukka and marriage counsellor, advised aggrieved couples against fighting or confronting the man or woman interfering in their relationships.

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  6. Make him or her realise the consequences of his or her actions. Effective communication is key to solving the issue of cheating in marriages. Their true nature will show itself and the fantasy will wear off. When they start making demands of your spouse, clinging and attempting to control the course of the affair the fantasy will wear off and your spouse will see them for who they really are You should not take it personally because it is not about you as a person. Given time and patience, most affairs go down in flames.

    Your spouse may see this new person as someone who offers up a new life, someone who will take them away from the burdens of having a wife and family and marital problems. In the end, they discover that all the old burdens and issues that came along with the marriage are the same, the only difference is, the person they feel responsible to is different.

    The only thing that changed was the players, not the game. When a person views the world through a self-critical perspective, the outcome turns out rather distorted. Such feelings can lead to depression, self-loathing and anxiety. Whether your goal is to save your marriage or divorce your unfaithful spouse, you need to keep a level head and develop good coping strategies.


    Plus, they say that living well is the best revenge and, you certainly want to get revenge—in a manner that helps you heal instead of causing you more pain. Cathy Meyer is a certified divorce coach, marriage educator, freelance writer, and founding editor of DivorcedMoms. As a divorce mediator, she provides clients with strategies and resources that enable them to power through a time of adversity.

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